A Lover of Books

Archive for the day “May 12, 2015”

Guest Post by Christian Jensen

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I recently interviewed Christian Jensen.  You can read the interview here:-


He is now back on my blog with a guest post.




Why we love the idea of cryptids

by Christian Jensen

Bigfoot is real. At least he’s real in my upcoming novel, Lone Survivor. I’ll tell you more about the book later, but first please allow me to introduce myself, and in doing so explain why I’m qualified to elucidate on such things as Cryptids. My name is Christian Jensen. I’m a horror writer living in the wilds of central Jersey, home of the Jersey Devil. I was born and raised here, then struck out on my own to explore such nefarious places as Florida, the Carolina’s Delaware, and various parts west. I’ve never spent a day in college studying biology, but that’s okay because cryptozoology is a pseudoscience.

I’m not really interested in telling you what cryptozoology is, anyone can Google it and come up with their own opinions. My main focus is to explain why we’re so interested in it. Creatures such as Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, Mothman, the Jersey Devil, and the like are considered cryptids, mythical animals to which there is no scientific explanation for, but hold a place in folklore. Why is it that intelligent, educated adults love to think Bigfoot is real? Why do normal, “sane” individuals report sightings year after year?

Is it just fun escapism, or is there a deeper need ingrained within our psyches to find a history, a backstory if you will, to the monster under our bed? Think back to a more basic time, to a land before cell phones—gasp! Let’s go even further, flipping the calendar year after year until we come to a dark time before electricity. Life is hard. People die easily. There is little understanding of disease or even personal hygiene. A family of eight shares the bath water. It’s a disgusting, smelly time in history, and to be polite humans are stupid. Leeches are medicine. Seriously? Bleeding is a cure. You’re older brother lost his left arm in a farming accident and no one knows where little Timmy went. He was last seen yesterday chasing frogs by the lake. It must have been the Moss Monster that got him. Old man Jacobs said he’d seen the smelly, slimy thing a couple days ago, and now Timmy is missing. Humans are dumb, but they can put 2 and 2 together to make 7.

Let’s look at a real life scenario. It’s a small village, somewhere in Europe around the time some uptight religious pricks are boarding ships and heading across the ocean to start a new world. They’re stupid, but at least they’re leaving. You live in a tiny village. You literally know everyone there, they make up your entire world. You have a wife and five kids. You work a small piece of land and try to make enough money to stay out of pauper’s jail. You’re trying to keep the tax man at bay by harvesting your crops, and you need the help of your kids. That’s why you had them, after all. The only problem is, kids keep going missing. The truth of the matter is that someone in your town is a serial killer, a pedophile who rapes and murders children. You wouldn’t ever suspect the local barber of such crimes. He goes to church, he works hard. He’s friendly and helpful. So it can’t be him. Besides, we’re stupid and it’s easier to believe than some shadowy monster made of animal pieces hunts the woods, flying in on bat wings to scoop up children and carry them off.

Another real life scenario involves lying to your children. It was prominent in America when the settlers were spreading out and building homesteads. Any kids that snuck out of their bed, usually one shared with all of their siblings, could realistically be eaten by wolves, mountain lions, or bears. They were prominent and deadly nocturnal hunters. Animals weren’t afraid of these people yet, just curious. And our kids are so pudgy and they smell like food… So parents would tell kids about monsters that prowled the land, threatening them with death should they leave their beds. Why scare them about the Indians any more, why tell them about the real monsters that can eat them. That shit stops being frightening after a while. Monsters are always scary.

Now we’re not as stupid as our ancestors. We have science. We know disease and can cure most of it. We live longer and pass information quicker and with more accuracy. So why are we still looking for Bigfoot and the Chupicabre? Because it’s fun to be scared? Because we want to believe? Because we want the attention?

Yes, to all of the above. It’s fun to be scared. It’s fun to think that monsters really do exist because they do, except in human form. Would you rather hear a story about some kid getting eaten by Bigfoot, or tortured, raped, and murdered by some sick pedophile? I’ll read about Bigfoot doing it all day because, and let’s be honest, he can’t really help it. He’s a Bigfoot, and they eat children like they’re bacon wrapped Eskimo pies. Besides, we have so much compelling evidence…

I chose to write Lone Survivor because I had a conversation with my friend about Zombies, and he inadvertently mentioned Zombie Bigfoot. I knew right there I had one hell of a story, and Lone Survivor is that story. I loved the idea of a giant, unstoppable killing machine. Imagine a zombie; remorseless, ravenously hungry, devoid of emotion and free from pain and fear. Now imagine a zombie eight feet tall and four hundred pounds, able to throw cars and smash through a building. Yeah…Zombie Bigfoot!

Here’s the synopsis for my book, Lone Survivor. I hope you guys check it out and love it. Let me know. You can always reach me on Facebook as Christian Jensen Author, on twitter as Hororwritindad, or on my blog, Beautiful Stories for Ugly Children, at Http://www.horrorwritingdaddy.blogspot.com.

One man. One Bigfoot. One billion zombies. In the land of the dead, reanimated corpses hunt through the shadows. Man has turned against man in an unforgiving apocalypse where only death can thrive. When there is no one left to trust, nowhere left to turn, you have to fight to make it another day just to become the Lone Survivor. Jim has been making through the apocalypse on his own. A chance encounter with the mythical creature known as Bigfoot gives him an inadvertent ally, but Jim quickly learns that friendships made after the end of the world don’t last long. After Bigfoot gets bitten by a zombie during a bloody fight, the man-ape begins to turn. Now there’s more dangerous things out there than the festering corpses of man, and it’s eight feet tall and weighs more than four hundred pounds. When fate throws Jim yet another curve ball, this time in the form of two damaged female survivors, Jim must decide if he is going to help them survive, or leave them to fend for themselves. Will Jim finally become part of a group, or remain a Lone Survivor?

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